Short satirical reflections on faith, society and the uncomfortable truths we avoid. The views expressed are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the position of the publication.

By Abdulfattah Abdussalam

The Tantrums Of Sheikhs

Not too long ago, the cauldron of knowledge boiled over like a volcano spilling its content ferociously, amongst some Islamic Clerics in SouthWest, Nigeria. It was as if the army of scholars were going to wipe each other out with the sward of knowledge. A famous Islamic Cleric in Lagos could not have bargained for the barrage of attacks, which greeted his public comments on the hadith of Sahih al-Bukhari and more particularly his comments on one of the companions of the Prophet-Abu Huraira. Most of the outburst negates the principles of Islam. Islam teaches “When someone advices an individual in public the intention is to disgrace but if he advices privately his intention was to guide you”. There are better ways of addressing the situation than the tantrums. An average Muslim was confused more because of their reactions than being enlightened. It is an aberration for any individual to cast aspersion on the companions of the Prophet.

Highway To Nowhere

Today it seems many cannot survive a morning without their “white powder breakfast” or an evening without a puff of imported confusion. Highness has acquired a new translation in Nigeria, one that comes wrapped in nylon, swallowed in capsules, or puffed in expensive clouds behind tinted car windows. The youths call it “stress relief.” We are in a generation that confuses addiction for adventure and moral collapse for modernity. The same youth who cannot memorize one verse of the Qur’an can recite the chemical formula of their favourite narcotic. Mothers now pray not only for their sons to be successful, but also for their names to never trend beside “drug bust on social media and conventional news media. NDLEA deserves its salute in a country where wrongdoers often become role models, the Agency’s renewed zeal speaks that law and sanity still have uniforms. Let us applaud the NDLEA not just for their arrests, but for attempting to rescue a generation speeding on a highway to nowhere. NDLEA continue your strides against the merchants of madness; the Ummah is silently saluting you.

Funerals of Hypocrisy

Death, they say, humbles everyone, yet in our society, even death has become a stage for pretence. We have mastered the art of praising those we ignored in life. When someone dies, every fault of his or her is forgotten and every sin is washed away with adjectives. “He was a good man,” “She was kind,” but they remained silence when the dead needed help, while alive. Our funerals have turned into performances. People attend not to reflect, but to be seen. They come dressed in black, not out of sorrow, but out of social obligation. Tributes flow easily for the dead because the dead cannot contradict them. The same lips that once spread rumour now lead prayers for mercy. Worse still, hypocrisy extends to our spiritual vocabulary. We quote verses, cry “Inna lillahi,”. We treat death as an event, not a reminder. We forget that the funeral is not about the dead; it is about the living who are still lying to themselves. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Remember often the destroyer of pleasures (death).” But we only remember it long enough to compose a status update. If only we respected people while they breathed, our condolences would carry meaning. Death is certain, but sincerity, it seems, is optional.

Editor’s Note: Truth Is Bitter is a weekly reflective and satirical column drawn from the “Front of the Book” pages of PEACE Magazine. It seeks to provoke introspection, not hostility; reform, not ridicule.