Siddeeqah Tunde-Lawal urges couples to build homes on responsibility, mercy and mutual care

By Sadiq Abdulfatah

Muslim marriages can become a source of conflict when couples focus more on what they expect to receive from each other than on their own responsibilities, lawyer and arbitrator Barrister Siddeeqah Tunde-Lawal has warned.

Siddeeqah spoke at the National Conference on Islamic Marital Reform held at Crescent University, Abeokuta, Ogun State, where she presented a paper titled “Reforming Muslim Marriages Through Rights, Responsibilities, and Mutual Compassion.”

She said many of the problems facing Muslim homes were not necessarily caused by a lack of Islamic guidance, but by a poor understanding of how its teachings should be applied in marriage.

According to her, teaching spouses about their rights without giving equal attention to their responsibilities can create an unhealthy sense of entitlement and lead to resentment between couples.

She said marriage should instead be built on ma’ruf (good conduct), mercy and mutual care.

Siddeeqah also addressed what she described as wrong ideas about women’s duties in marriage. She stressed that legitimate obedience to a husband should not be treated as unlimited compliance.

“A Muslim woman is not required to surrender legitimate dignity or participate in wrongdoing in the name of obedience,” she said.

She added that both husband and wife are servants of Allah first and should see marriage as an act of worship and obedience to Him.

The lawyer urged wives to respect legitimate marital rights, communicate respectfully, protect the trust placed in them and make positive contributions to family life.

The conference, organised under the theme “Knowledge, Responsibility, Mercy and Justice in Building Healthy Homes,” brought together Islamic scholars, lawyers, government officials, counsellors and married couples from different parts of Nigeria.

As part of efforts to prevent marital problems, the Insight Institute, Mahdul Baseerah, in partnership with the Shariah Arbitration Committee, Ogun State, launched an eight-week online Certificate in Islamic Marriage and Pre-Marriage Studies (CIMPS).

The programme consists of 16 live sessions held twice a week for 90 minutes. It combines Islamic jurisprudence with psychological, counselling and financial perspectives.

It is designed for people preparing for marriage, engaged and newly married couples, marriage counsellors, imams, community leaders and divorcees preparing to remarry.

Speaking at the opening of the conference, Alhaji Kamaldeen Akintunde, who represented the Olowu of Owu Kingdom, Oba Prof. Saka Adelola Matemilola, praised the Ogun State Government for supporting the Shariah arbitration system as a way of promoting peace and settling disputes among Muslim families.

The monarch urged participants to put the solutions discussed at the conference into practice. He also said the Ogun Muslim Council would work with the League of Imams to improve the welfare of Muslim families across the state.

In his keynote address, Dr Sulaimon Ogunmuyiwa, Director of Quality Assurance at the Lagos State Ministry of Education, said a strong marriage should not be judged by whether couples disagree, but by how they deal with and resolve their disagreements.

Dr Afiz O. Musa, Director of Mahdul Baseerah and a member of the Shariah Arbitration Committee, also presented data from cases handled by the committee since it was established in March 2018.

He said the voluntary and conciliatory body had handled more than 200 cases, with marital disputes making up the largest share.

Source: Daily Trust